Everyone has had their share of drama in relationships. I have a variety of friends, all strong minded, so how do we end up in the relationships that have turmoil? There's always a struggle between our hearts and our minds, and which we should let govern our decisions at that moment. If you have to struggle, then I say go with your mind, there wouldn't be a fight between the two if it was easy, right? It's always easier said than done because our hearts don't allow it to be over just yet. So when is it over? When we have exhausted all the good out of the relationship and you are left with only pain? I've always looked back at my serious relationships and wished I had left when I still had some dignity left.
I had a discussion one time with one of my friends about what type of woman do men want. Do men prefer a less educated woman who is attentive, affectionate, at their man's beck and call, who supports her man in all that he does. Doesn't fight, complain, or have an opinion. Who cooks, cleans, takes care of the home, kids, and is dependent on her man for everything. Or would a man prefer an independent and educated woman who is independent and about her business, goes out with friends having a life outside the relationship as well, who expects her mate to contribute to half of everything, and who sometimes is opinionated, showing she has a mind of her own.
I've seen men who like the ones who stay home and take care of everything, I myself think that's a man who likes to have control. Then there's men who enjoy having an independent woman & yet some are intimidated. I have been both, changing to suit my ex and what I believe he wanted. But I wasn't being true to who I am, I'm just not domesticated.
George Sand wrote, "There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved". Humans have a deep rooted need for love. We yearn for someone to admire, respect, acknowledge and love us. When we feel that this need is meet, the illusion of love is magnified. We change who we are to adapt to reflect the person we are with. When the fairy tale image begins to disappear, we are forced to choose whether to continue the relationship or move on but by this time we are so wrapped up in the other person it is hard to let go. Even though we know that letting go is what is best for us. It is easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteSome might see independent, focused women as a threat. But everyone should want someone who has enough self reliance, self respect, and self efficiency to handle business around the house and at work. Too much time is being wasted on bringing women down further into the trap of abuse. Not physical. Mental, emotional and spiritual abuse. Not allowing one to pursue life to the potential of their own being is prison. Not allowing one to grow beyond the parameters of age is also jail. If a man cannot respect a woman who will encompass everything that will allow her to stand on her own two, with or without him then she is as lost and meaningless as him. Real men AND real women understand this.
ReplyDeleteThen again, there are women that play their positions with no motivation or sense of urgency to become nothing more than complacent and routine in their minds and actions. And these women, regardless of will, motivation or push. They feel at most comfortable in that position. It goes on for generations....
I agree with V 110%. I believe a man will want a women that resembles his mother....if his mother was the domestic type that did everything couldn't go out didn't have an opinion in the household...that's what kind of women they would want....if his mother was a strong woman!! That's what that man would want his future wife to be. The reason why I said future wife is because as a man myself, when I was younger and immature I found myself dating women that was easy because that's all I wanted was sex and kept it moving...no attachment and really didn't care about their feelings and making them happy (them meaning the women). I could be wrong but as you grow up becoming a man you throw away those childish things and start preparing yourself to find "The One" and when you mature I believe most men wants a educated strong opinionated woman...granted they can get annoying because they think they know everything lol but that's what you gotta love about that...having a great conversation an educated conversation...I think that's the most sexiest thing about a female...besides the looks. I had to live and learn and figure out what I wanted and I personally get turned off if the female doesn't have a back bone and its not educated...I don't want a hood rat...don't care hoe good she looks or fat her butt is...all that is thrown out the window if when you start to speak and you sound like a 12 year old.... - Glenn R.
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